Digital Pacifier: A Social Species in a Digital World
By Grayson Dozier
One standout quote from John Cassidy's "Me Media" is in reference to Facebook from a recent Harvard graduate. She states that "it's a way of maintaining a friendship, without having to make any effort whatsoever [...] And the interface provides all the information you need to do that: birthdays, pictures, message boards, contact info, etc." This enables the user of the social media app to 'stay connected' with their friends, but it also enables the user to forgo all the details that normally come with a relationship -- you should be putting real effort into your relationships, it is not as simple as clicking a like button and moving on.
It's weird too, because it feels like a real connection. It's the way it's designed. Earlier this year, two people I knew from High School got married and had a baby together during quarantine. I did the right thing and liked their Instagram post and jotted down a short comment of congratulations. It felt good to do that, and I was genuinely happy for them. But after watching 'The Social Dilemma', it made some gears turn, and I have to wonder if that connection is... real. We weren't particularly close while we were in High School, and after graduation they moved to Georgia and it's likely that I never see them again. I care about them and their baby as a principle of caring for other humans, but if not for social media I realize that I never would have thought about them.
Which feels fucked up to admit, but it's true. They're not a part of my community, without Instagram, and without technology we would never be in contact. I suppose this could be an argument advocating for the connection that is enabled by social media, but after watching Jeff Orlowski's documentary I can't help but feel that the 'human connection' is disingenuous, and it is simply social media preying on the vulnerabilities in human psychology. The need to feel connected, to be a part of something. Some of the same reasons that people join a cult, or find God. As Tristan Harris stated in the documentary, our technology moved from being tool-based to addiction and manipulation based. Human connection is addicting to us because we are a social species, thousands of years of evolution has made relationships and social correspondence enticing. I thought the simile of social media being a digital pacifier was spot on. It's scary to be by yourself, falling asleep alone, waiting alone. And when do you find yourself power-scrolling social media apps? When you need a pacifier. When you're going to sleep, waiting for a class to start, or literally doing nothing. It's a way of distracting yourself, but making it chemically rewarding.