Language Matters

I want to recognize something in the podcast episode: Phoning Home: Using social media to help end homelessness. Both Jessica Doing and Kevin Adler never say the words ‘homeless people’ or refer to them as simply ‘the homeless’. They always say ‘people experiencing homelessness’. This is a small, but important, change in language. I’ve read several stories and articles about people who actively correct others to refer to them as a person with a disability, a person with autism, or a person with depression, anxiety, whatever, fill in the blank. This small change in the way we say things shifts the perspective drastically. Before any sort of illness, disease, or disability, they are a person. They are identified by their existence as a human being, not by any physical or mental facets.

You know when you’re self-aware of the existence of some aspect about yourself (maybe it’s an opinion, or habit, or something else), but you’re not self-aware enough to change or do anything about it? That’s how I am about my actions and opinions on homelessness. Even writing this journal is difficult and causing some anxiety, because it’s forcing me to come face-to-face with my ideals and actions, and how I’m going to change them going forward.

Listening to the podcast episode, I kept coming back to one uncommon word that has stuck with me ever since I learned it: sonder. The definition of sonder is the realization that everyone around you has their own consciousness, their own internal dialogues and conflicts, and lives just as complex a life as you do. I understand this concept, but taking it and actually putting it into action is a different story entirely.

I was raised to be very cautious and hesitant, especially when it comes to interacting with those experiencing homelessness. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my parents offer to help or even acknowledge people these people. My mom will always refer to them as bad people or people not deserving of help.

Because I, like almost everyone else on the planet, learned how to navigate the world based on my parents’ actions and experiences, I follow my mom’s example and try to avoid making eye contact or acknowledging the existence of people experiencing homelessness.

This is when sonder comes into play. Whereas my mom sees people experiencing homelessness as objects to be ignored, I’m faced with the challenge of overcoming this practice that I learned from her, and instead shifting the narrative to be more human-being focused (does that make sense?).

Luckily, I have a compassionate, selfless, and empathetic best friend who was raised the exact opposite of how I was. I’ve never seen her look away, ignore, or fail to offer help to people experiencing homelessness. I’m grateful that I have the perfect example to look up to and learn from, because otherwise, I wouldn’t even know that this was something I needed to actively acknowledge and change moving forward.